This time around, i’ve realized that no matter what i do, all is lost already. There were times when i thought that i was reaching my goal, but in reality, it was so far for me to reach.
It didn’t even mattered whenever i tried or not, i’ve always been turned down, leaving me with one question:
And she would always say:
“I don’t like you…” (NOT IN FRONT OF ME, HUH…)
Maybe i shouldn’t have tried my chances in the first place. Maybe i shouldn’t have listened to my heart. Maybe i’ve done everything, or nothing, for that matter. Regret comes too late, as they say, isn’t it?
Anyways, it doesn’t really matter now. What matters most for me is to get my feet running back, and there are many things that i’ve got to rearrange. Besides that, there is this seemingly ominous SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) and TOEFL to take care of!
If i get a high score, Insha Allah, my dreams of being able to study English Language and Literature in Bosphorus University will come true!
I’m proud to belong somewhere. I will be proud even if no one reads this freaking blog for days, weeks, months, or years!
I’m quite sad because only one greeted me for Eid’l Adha in my cell phone. Khaleel didn’t understand, i told him, “Nevermind…”, but he insisted (i find it annoying), and we’ve got some bit of an misunderstanding…I hope he did not take it inside though.
On the other hand, i’ve got a very nice Bayram here in Beypazarı, a county some 100 kilometers (and one and a half hour) away from Ankara City. It’s white houses, old mosques, and mineral soda beat what meets the eyes, but it’s another story for now.