Archive for November, 2010

I’ve just recently realized that there are much better things to do than to be immersed in the “love story” trend. For instance, i know for one that i should have already a working knowledge of Turkish by the time the course ends, which means that i will be more busy studying nowadays, more than ever before. And there’s this “Doctor SAT”, whose prescriptions will be the key for my near future; i think that i should start preparing directly or indirectly so that i would be a step ahead or two when the time comes. Afterwards, i’m gonna improve my faith and my English! And i have a hundred other plans… (Of course, that’s just in line with “education from the cradle to the grave!”)

On the other hand, i hope that our residence permit problem will be solved, so that we could study together here, no matter which university we will qualify. OF course, if this problem does not get solved, then we might just as well say bye-bye to our dreams!

After all these problems, well, as they say, there’s the bright, shining sunlight. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days here over-analyzing scenarios; instead, i should do my own! As usual, i believe that i can solve these problems, though yesterday, i’ve freaked around my house. So to speak, i’ve realized that it was just a waste of time.

No one has became a magnificent eagle by sleeping. Instead, before experiencing the pleasure of breaking out into the world, they pushed and kicked and made many attempts to break out of their shell!

That also applies to me this time around. No matter how seemingly hopeless the situation is, for instance, just look at this sourced picture:

Just a sourced pic.... ^^

 Well, there’s always hope, so to speak.

Anyways, if there’s none, then i might just as well be dead right now! For hopelessness is not one of the qualities of humanity…

I’m faithfully hoping for a very good recovery. (It’s time to show that a phoenix can rise back from the burning ruins!!!)

 That’s enough for today!!! Good day, everyone!!!


Outside, the majestic sun is hidden in the dark clouds, and the trees are almost stripped off, save for some whose red and yellow leaves still fly off their branches.

As i look outside, i began to ask myself: Am i to bury myself in this seemingly never-ending mess? Or should i find (or make) a way out of it?

What a day. But to those who think negatively of me, here’s my answer:


More than enough for an answer... ^^


Hope this picture will explain everything. I cannot afford to give up anymore!!!

Anyways, let me get out of my dramatics first…

After two straight weeks of getting a minimum threshold score, i think i need to study more!!! And there’s more: I was able to try “Kokoreç” (practically a beef sandwich), and it was so delicious!

I don’t really know what makes my heart so uncomfortable nowadays. I don’t really know why i easily turn to dramatics whenever i’m angry, sad, or otherwise.  It seems that i’m always running out of energy, feeling hopeless, feeling like there’s no one out there…Maybe it’s just the gray autumn…

The examination...

So this is it...

“Taking the SAT is like going to the doctor. It scares the willies out of you, but once you get there it’s really not that bad, and in the end it’s all for the best.” – Anonymous

With only two to four months to go before my Turkish Language course ends, i really wonder about the things that i should do to win maximum points (i.e. the highest number of points that i could get, as opposed to a perfect score) from the Scholastic Aptitude Test. On the other hand, i know that i must get ready for the test; If you ask me, i believe that i only have three to four months to prepare for the harrowing examination.

In SAT I, there are four tests: Critical Reading, Writing and Math. Each composes a score of 800 points, which brings up a total of 2400 points. Forty percent of the Writing exam depends on the score of an essay, and the rest is composed of essay revisions, identifying errors, and sentence improvement portions; while the Critical Reading exam is composed of both passages and fill-in-the blanks portions. On the other hand, the Maths exam is composed of both multiple-choice and “grid the answer” portions.

When i heard about some of my Indonesian friends getting scores of up to 2000 points in the exam (for SAT 1 alone, thus qualifying for high-level engineering courses in Middle East Technical University), i began to wonder how much i need to get inside Bosphorus University’s Literature Faculty.

I found out later that admission alone to Bosphorus requires a score of 1600, which meant that i should get at least a score of 1800 to be able to get a spot in the university’s Lit. Faculty.

It seems that i have to abandon my procrastinating tendencies once and for all, if i want to be able to reach my dreams in life.

I believe that i could get a very good score and coast through this exam  to be able to study English Language and Literature in Bosphorus University.

This is my only chance. It’s now or never!!!

When i was younger, i used to write a lot of feature articles about a lot of things.

Here’s one of them:

Kurban Article
This was my article two years ago…

Well, these were my heydays. Today, i’m just studying Turkish Language, wondering when i would start my university studies…

It doesn’t really matter how much i’ve wrote! I have still a lot to learn…
I really thank my teacher for keeping and uploading this one…
We miss you all,Maam Chay Tunacao!!!
Anyways, carry on, people!

This time around, i’ve realized that no matter what i do, all is lost already. There were times when i thought that i was reaching my goal, but in reality, it was so far for me to reach.

It didn’t even mattered whenever i tried or not, i’ve always been turned down, leaving me with one question:


And she would always say:

“I don’t like you…” (NOT IN FRONT OF ME, HUH…)

Maybe i shouldn’t have tried my chances in the first place. Maybe i shouldn’t have listened to my heart. Maybe i’ve done everything, or nothing, for that matter. Regret comes too late, as they say, isn’t it?

Anyways, it doesn’t really matter now. What matters most for me is to get my feet running back, and there are many things that i’ve got to rearrange. Besides that, there is this seemingly ominous SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) and TOEFL to take care of!

If i get a high score, Insha Allah, my dreams of being able to study English Language and Literature in Bosphorus University will come true!

I’m proud to belong somewhere. I will be proud even if no one reads this freaking blog for days, weeks, months, or years!

I’m quite sad because only one greeted me for Eid’l Adha in my cell phone. Khaleel didn’t understand, i told him, “Nevermind…”, but he insisted (i find it annoying), and we’ve got some bit of an misunderstanding…I hope he did not take it inside though.

On the other hand, i’ve got a very nice Bayram here in Beypazarı, a county some 100 kilometers (and one and a half hour) away from Ankara City. It’s white houses, old mosques, and mineral soda beat what meets the eyes, but it’s another story for now.


Posted: November 14, 2010 in Journal Entries
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How do you feel when you taste your own blood coming from inside your body?

Seems horrible, isn’t it?

Hahaha. When i first tasted my own blood, it tasted a lot like salt, iron, and fish.

BUO-BUO pa talaga yung lumabas!!!

Anyways, that was quite a long time ago…

NOTE: Please don’t try this at home! Excessive blood loss can lead to nausea, shock, and even death!!!

Just felt to share with you all…Eid Mubarak everyone! Kurban Bayram Kutlu Olsun!!!

(Ankara, here i come!!!)


Posted: November 10, 2010 in Features
Tags: ,

Let’s get with it:

I would never be as faithful as some of us, or most of you do.

But after reading the book “A Civilian Response to Ethno-Religious Conflict” by Mehmet Kalyoncu, i felt that i must at least, try to be beneficial to humanity.

I really like the idea of providing education to others, not just through teaching, but as well through contributing in other ways. How i wish that i could contribute in any capacity… ^^

Thus, in this matter, i recommend you to read these books:

1. A Civilian Response to Ethno-Religious Conflict, by Mehmet Kalyoncu

2. Prayer and Healing in Islam, by Salih Yücel

I couldn’t find the words to describe these books! But rest assured, they are in line with both religious and modern reading techniques…

Happy reading, guys!